DON'T DELETE HIS NUMBER

This one sounds a little weird, but hear me out.

Often in this game that we call dating, you'll get phone numbers from random guys who you've spoken to, and have found that you have something in common with. The tendency is that once you stop talking to this person, you delete the number, right? Don't.

It's happened to me on more than a few occasions, and one in particular, that I deleted the number of someone who let's say, was cheezed off at me because he was TOTALLY not my type, but apparently he thought I was his.

As my story begins, I met this dude online. He was very good looking in his picture, and built like a brick shithouse. After speaking with him on the phone, I noted that he was also very intelligent. So after talking a few times on the phone, we decided to meet for drinks at a restaurant.

Wow...I've NEVER had anyone lie so blatantly about his appearance. Ever. If it wasn't for the fact that he's so tall, I would never have recognized him. The guy in the picture, as I said before, was very good looking. Tall, well manicured, well put together dude with dark hair and clear blue eyes. The man walking toward me was tall. Period. Besides that, he had this mop of completely grey hair that looked like it hadn't seen a comb or brush or any kind of hair product in weeks! As for his clothing, I could safely say that this dude had probably just crawled out of a dumpster. I was stunned speechless to say the absolute least. (Like I said before...completely unusual for me.)

As he approached me, I held out my hand to shake his and said "Greg?" He smiled at me. Oh God...it is him. I could feel the planet spinning. He hugged me, smiling. And why the hell shouldn't he smile? He'd won the lottery here! And he totally conned me! I could feel the anger welling up inside my chest.

We went inside. I couldn't tell you how I got there, because I honestly don't remember walking in.
He sat at the table across from me. Dear God. I just kept looking at his face, trying to keep the look of disdain and puzzlement off of mine. I had one quick apple martini (my favorite), and made some excuse about finishing a report and getting up early.

He walked me to my car, and tried to hug me. UGH!! I drove home, thinking the entire way, "What the hell was that???" I called my best friend, and vented the whole ride home. When I got back to my computer, I was so pissed off, that I logged in to the site that I'd met him on, and deleted my profile. Had enough.

The next morning, I get a message on my cell phone from "Sasquatch". He actually had the stones to leave me a message! Anyway, he was choked because he'd gone back online, and wasn't able to find my profile. He automatically assumed that I'd blocked him, and went into a tyrade on my voicemail about how my "skin tone is different than it is in your picture". ARE YOU F****** SERIOUS BUDDY? I didn't even bother returning his call in any way shape or form. I just wanted to wash off the stink of that date (and that man) and move on. I deleted his phone number, and didn't think any more about it.

About two weeks later, I'm driving home from work, and my cell phone starts ringing. I look at the call display (that some genius female must have invented), and I see a phone number, but I don't recognize it, as everyone that I know is in my address book. Very rarely does a phone number, and not a name come up on my phone. So I pick it up (against my better judgement I should also say).

At first, I didn't recognize the voice. Until he said his name. "Greg". WTF??? This time, I don't hide my disdain for this dude, and he can hear it. I said, "I thought that my skin tone was so different in my picture, that I'd never hear from you again?" He said that he was just kidding in the message that he left. Whatever dude. I went on to tell him that the picture that he had posted (and was STILL up btw), didn't look a damn thing like him, and he should be ashamed to be conning women into meeting him under the guise of looking like the man in the picture. Silence. Then I added, "And for God's sake, lose my number. I can't believe that you even had the balls to call me. The only reason that I answered the phone, is because I deleted yours." Then I hung up.

DON'T DELETE HIS NUMBER. At least that way, when the guy that you NEVER want to hear from again calls, you'll know not to pick it up.